Have you tried therapy?
Too often, our identities and innate ability to survive mental, emotional, and physical abuse go unacknowledged. Whether that lack of recognition comes from others or ourselves, we hold guilt and shame for doing what we had to do to maintain. I believe that you did the best you could. I believe you did only what you knew to do, only that which you felt you had no choice but to do.
Those strengths built out of unfortunate circumstances were strengths then, but may be barriers now.
A quote on my website says, “ If you can breathe, then you can heal. Each exhale brings an opportunity to start again”. It’s a very short expression of my deeper understanding, that it is never too late, until it’s too late. I understand change in either direction is uncomfortable and, dare I say, scary. Do you know what’s scarier? How comfortable can we become with chaos, how familiar can we become with being misused and mistreated? How long can we put up with it all, and how tired are you from putting up with it?
Maybe you have been in situations where you had no control over your experiences, maybe as a child or an under-resourced adult. Maybe you have experienced forms of physical violence, or everything just short of it. Once the abuse and negligence are no longer being committed against us by others, you may find that they are now being committed by us, towards ourselves, or even further towards the people you care about. What will you do with that awareness?
As a human, I want more for you and our communities, especially my community. As a therapist, I know that no one can want change, healing, whatever it is to you, more than you do. Balancing a multitude of identities, I can say with confidence that your reluctance is valid! It makes sense! I can also confidently say you have done and experienced scarier things.
Therapy with the right therapist can support you as you become the author of your own narrative. As you become the operator of your life and director of your own future. You can go from “nothing is going to be different” to "I will not allow it to stay the same”. From “they won’t let me” to “I won’t let anyone stop me”.
The therapist you match with will meet you where you are and help you pace your healing journey. They will help you identify your capacity and sit with you in it. They will eventually challenge you, so you can challenge yourself. They will confront core beliefs that impact your ability to clearly hear your own voice. Ultimately, what you get out of therapy will reflect what you put in. If you can relate to anything I said above, then you may want to start by putting yourself in someone's office or virtual waiting room.
If you can say you tried everything, tell me, have you tried therapy?
When you’re ready, reach out to me to schedule a free 15-minute consultation or for support in finding a therapist.
Imagine Peace
Imagine Peace is an imagery meditation script that is a perfect addition to your end-of-day self-care routine. I recommended that you read it, record it, and play it back to yourself. I created this with the intention of giving you a moment of escape and a gentle return. Below is the music selection that best pairs with the sentiment of this meditation.